Fat. Single. Christian. | Thin. Single. Christian.

Fat. Single. Christian. | Thin. Single. Christian.

Hello lovelies!

I read this very interesting post on Boundless.org, (you can read it here), that a friend of mine posted. It created a highly interesting thread on Facebook about women, men, dating, weight, health, exercise, self-control, etc. The article lamented the shallowness of men in today's church and how seemly impossible it is for overweight women to get asked out. 

I haven't always been at a healthy body weight. I definitely haven't been skinny since childhood. I was definitely overweight in college, on my way to obesity. Even when I lost a bunch of weight and was in a very healthy weight, I still wondered if the reason I didn't have a boyfriend was because I wasn't thin enough. The guys were coming in droves (there was a time I was going through a guy every two months or so) but none of them would stay. And it was painful and lonely and confusing...almost more than if they hadn't come at all. 

So I decided to do a Whole30. And I lost that little bit of weight that was bugging me and I finally felt thin. And my husband-to-be asked me out. And I thought, ah-ha! I was right! It was because I wasn't quite thin enough that these guys weren't sticking around. 

Nope. Turns out, my husband had been admiring me from afar for years, even back when I was quite pudgy in college. He wasn't ready to ask me out and needed to mature a bit before being ready for commitment. Basically, he got deathly ill and realized that life was short so he asked me out. It had nothing to do with my weight. At all.

There an aspect to this topic no one's seemed to bring up yet. It's that getting married really has nothing to do with weight. I see overweight girls getting married all the time. And I see girls who are at a healthy weight, if not actually skinny, waiting and waiting to just get asked out. 

The problem is that shallowness and immaturity run rampant in today's churches. In both guys and girls. The same shallowness that says, "I'm not going to ask that girl out because she's overweight," you may very well encounter in another context. For example:

"People say I date too much and if things don't work out between us, I don't want people to see us together."

"You're not spiritual enough for me."

"Oh, another girl and I were talking, and I decided to go out with her instead."

"I have scars from my last relationship."

"I have debt."

"I've been really affected by how the world views beauty and I'm really trying to work through that."

That's the kind of excuses I got as a size 8. All of them, directed towards me by different guys. All excuses about why they couldn't move the relationship forward. Do you know what all of these excuses meant?

God was telling me, in no uncertain terms, "this guy isn't the one."

Should you lose weight because you won't get a guy otherwise? Absolutely not. Losing weight is no guarantee that a guy will ask you out. And ask you to marry him. It's all about the Lord's plan for you (and a possible future him) and your sanctification.

Your focus in losing weight should be your present and future health. If you're unhealthy and you know it, it's your responsibility to do something about it. 

It's so easy to focus on the guy {or lack of them} and become bitter that the guy was so shallow and immature, while it was really the Lord orchestrating your life. Trust was never supposed to be easy. You might not have known it would be this hard, but take heart, dear one. The Lord knows. He knows everything. And He loves you more than words can say. And He knows you deserve a guy who isn't going to care about your weight.

Much love, Maegan


P.S. What is a healthy weight? Take your height in inches, divide it by two, and that waist size is a healthy belly fat ratio. Anything more than that is damaging to your current and future health in many ways, because of how dangerous belly fat is. If you're serious about getting healthy, I strongly suggest reading The Cancer Thriver and contacting the author (my mom) who is a wellness coach and she will definitely get you on track.

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